Every Thursday Night… Is Dionysos Night!

Last night I had a WOW moment. One of those moments that really drive home the fact that, yup this stuff is for real. The Gods are listening and do talk back. You see, I’m currently trying to put together my own religious weekly/monthly spiritual calendar, which I will hope to post soon. In general I hope to start the mornings with a brief devotion to Dionysos and Hekate, and then choose another God to pray to at night so that I can expand my circle a bit.

However, one thing is for sure, in my house, every Thursday night is Dionysos night, dedicated solely to him alone! This has just worked out to be my recent new tradition in the past few weeks, and I’m going to keep it that way. Not for any religious or astrological reason, but merely because of total convenience. Due to the intricacies of our respective work schedules, my on-call schedule, and baby care, Thursday night works out to be the only night I really have to totally relax. It usually consists of a nice dinner, and time spent with my wife sharing a bottle of wine (I was particularly pleased to enjoy that glass of wine last night while reading Bacchus: a Biography). I then descend into the my shrine area to do a full devotion dedicated to Dionysos where I was able to spend time in an unhurried fashion with libation of wine, Prayer, and generally spending as much time as I want in his presence. I then end this rite with a divination of some sort.

I’ve been wanting to learn the tarot lately. I really want to learn it because I find it interesting and am a TOTAL novice at it. I’m in the mood to challenge myself with something new. The tarot deck I use is The Ancient Egyptian Tarot by Clive Barret, which is the only deck that has ever spoken to me on any level.  Besides I find the illustrations really beautiful.

Two weeks ago, I did a spread asking about Patronage. The answer that I got had three themes (based on my novice-level interpretation of course), one of initiation into new mysteries, the second a new partnership, and it was based around the Princess of Cups, who I was taking to represent Dionysos. Yes the figure in the card is female, but he seems to have no problem with gender fluidity so I don’t see this as a problem. The figure is also holding a cup (wine cup?), and a dolphin plays in the background. While dolphins may be traditionally a symbol of Apollon, they also play into the myth of Dionysos and the Pirates, so taken all together my intuition was saying this card represents Dionysos (and because I love pictures, here’s an awesome  picture representing that particular myth). Thus my interpretation of the spread was a new partnership with him and setting foot into learning his mysteries.

This week I just asked if there is anything I need to know, anything he wants to tell me or relate to me. I left the question open ended. This is where the wow moment came. The spread was exactly the same as the one two weeks ago. The same exact cards, in the same exact positions, in the same exact orientations as last week. I am not exaggerating here in the slightest. There was not a single difference between the two spreads (and yes I shuffled the deck quite well!). I have never had this happen before. Talk about hitting the point home! So yes, I guess he really did have a message for me, and really wanted me to get the point without ambiguity.

Consider the point well taken!

Samhain 2009

This past Samhain weekend ended up being a very good one for me. The actual 31^st (Saturday) also has the distinction of also being my wifes birthday (Yeah I know, I’m jealous) and it was our 2 month old sons first Halloween, so the day was spent in “family mode”. We dressed up the kidlett (he was a little green monster), passed out candy to the trick-or-treaters, spent some time with a good friend who came to visit, ate birthday cake, drank wine, went to see a scary movie and generally had a good time.

My own personal spiritual observances took place on Sunday, Nov 1st. I like this better because I like to celebrate during the quiet aftermath of traditional Halloween, which seems somehow more respectful to me. Plus this day was closer to the actual full moon, so it worked out well. My wife had a few guests over to meet the new baby, which gave me some unexpected alone time which I took advantage of.

First off, I felt somehow very “connected” and at peace with myself this Samhain all day, which is in sharp contrast to the conflicted and turbulent spiritual ride I’ve had in the past few months. I feel very sure of my choice to begin worshiping the Hellenic Gods, and also wanted to re-connect with my druidic side. I took it as a quiet time for reflection and figuring out where I’m going and begin formulating my personal practice. I got to spend some time outside enjoying the fall air and leaves. I dismantled my altar area and gave it a complete cleaning and make over, including spruced up shrines to both Dinoysus and Hekate, as well as a center area comprised of 3 bowls to represent Earth, Sea, and Sky; the 3 druid elements as well as the 3 realms Hekate has influence over. I also made a triple flame tureen-jar candle scented with amber resin for Hestia to serve as a center piece. I want to make it a personal goal to connect more with Hestia.

I wanted to devote this Samhain ritual to Hekate. I am very thankful to her for a number of reasons (some obvious, some private) and this felt like the perfect time to do some devotional work to her. For the rite itself, I mainly did an AODA style grove ritual and spent time honoring my ancestors, including my father who passed away just a few months ago. I then spent some time doing devotional work to Hekate and offering libation, followed up by some divination work with both the Tarot and the Druid Animal Oracle, to gain insights into the coming year. These insights yielded a series of warnings about pitfalls to avoid, most of which I was previously aware of, but it was still nice to have the point driven home.

As you can see, I also spent some time working on the aesthetic and layout of my blog, including making a slight change in the name on a whim that somehow felt right.

All in all I came out of this Samhain 2009 weekend feeling refreshed both emotionally and spiritually and enjoyed having the gift of time spent with family and much needed time to devote to my spiritual side. I’d say it was pretty perfect.

On Being a Pagan: Labels (Part II)

As Samhain approaches I find myself in serious reflection mode. Since this blog serves as my unofficial spiritual journal, this post may not be of interest to anyone besides myself, but it really helps me personally to write things down. So just a warning that this may end up being a really long and ponderous post of interest to absolutely no one except for me!

What is my personal path? What do I believe and what kind of pagan am I?

Anyone who’s read my previous blog posts can tell that I’ve been struggling a bit lately and have been going through a lot of changes. While I really wanted to be a Norse Pagan, for some reason I just cannot connect with any of the Norse Gods on a meaningful level. I think it’s time that I faced that fact, I have been trying for awhile and it’s just not there. When I do connect with one it tends to be short lived and only haphazard at best.

Meanwhile, The Hellenic gods have been hitting me up pretty hard. My relationship with Dionysus has been growing strongly and steadily and becoming quite meaningful to me, to the point that I’m pretty sure he is sticking around and going to be a major part of my life, perhaps even my patron. I’ve had some trying times in the past few weeks and I am surprised at just how fully present he has been for me. That along with the synchronicities that just keep coming (yesterday he was practically hitting me over the head with them including finding plastic bunches of grapes in my path, numerous references to and posters of Jim Morrison, and a bottle of ‘Dancing Bull’ wine that literally fell into my hands at the store and somehow ended up on my shrine to him). I am also considering divinations conducted both by myself and others on my behalf that have pretty much said the same thing, “Face it pal, you belong to me now”. My Dionysus shrine has literally “overgrown” my entire shrine area!

Also the other Olympians have been stopping by to say hi in droves; Hermes, Zeus, Athena, Apollon and more. Of course Hekate is always present, yet has quietly taken a step into the background. Theres not a one that I don’t feel some sort of connection with. Quite frankly I’m loving it and am feeling a level of spiritual fulfillment that I haven’t felt in some years, if ever. There is something so right about this. So at this time I think it’s pretty clear that Hellenic Polytheism is the path I am meant to walk.

I don’t think I have ever felt this level of connection to a group of deities before. Believe me, no one is more surprised than I am, but there ya go, and I am absolutely ecstatic and happy to have found my way to here (all thanks to Hekate who lead me here!).  Of course that gives me the challenge of trying to fit Hellenic polytheism into my current practice.

I can’t go the pure recon route. I’ve tried Reconstruction religion, on two seperate occasions. It just does not fit me. In my time I’ve tried both Kemetic Orthodoxy, and Asatru in various forms going back over 10 years. While I respect the scholarship from both of those, and took away valuable lessons from them I just don’t jive with Recon religion. It feels too “forced” to me somehow. That is not to say that I don’t incorporate recon elements into my practice. If I can do something in a way that I know it was done in the past, I will do so. (I should also say that I don’t dislike recon religion inherantly and I recognize that it does jive with a whole lot of other people! I think that’s great. It’s just not for me personally).

I have a serious love/hate relationship with labels. I always want to have things neat and packaged, be able to point to something and say “yup that’s me”. Whenever I try though I end up breaking the constraints I’ve put on myself. The fact is that I am also a Druid of the Revival tradition and have no intention of giving that up. I love revival druidry. I love the fact that it does not try to claim to be an ancient heritage, but owns up to being a modern system that is still a workable and spiritually valid path for many people.

I use the term Hedge Druid to describe myself, somewhat tongue in cheek, because I like the image that it conjures up and it seems to fit. Being primarily solitary, I seem to fit the archetype of the lone Druid out in the wilds (in this case the suburban wilds, but still), doing his own thing and occasionally meeting with others of his kind to exchange ideas and for companionship before heading back to his abode to keep doing his own thing, perhaps modified and enriched by his experience with others, perhaps in turn enriching the practice of those others who have encountered him. I have been working on the AODA candidate year and the OBOD bardic course for on and off for about 3 years now (I’m actually almost ready to complete both).

I like the modern invention of the Wheel of the Year. Being in Wisconsin, with four seasons, I find that it is very relevant to the climate that I live in. While I was Kemetic Orthodox I could never quite get excited about festivals based on the rise and fall of the Nile, because it just didn’t affect me. The Wheel of the Year may be a modern invention, but it makes sense and ties me to the land and seasons in the climate in which I live with.

I also like the emphasis on a nature based spirituality. I like learning about the trees, animals, and local ecology of my geographic area. I like meditation and energy body work. I like being eco-minded and caring for the environment. In short, being a Revival Druid works for me and I enjoy it. I even have an Awen tattoo on my inner wrist to symbolize my commitment to the path which I had done the day of my initiation ceremony.

Yes a part of me would love to be a Druid and worship the Celtic gods and have it be all nice and neat, but it’s not to be. Interestingly enough I have absolutely no interest in Celtic gods, nor them I apparently. I guess I’m going to be a Druid who worships the Hellenic Gods. Some might call this Eclectic (then again there are those who would probably take issue with calling myself a Druid at all, or being a Druid who doesn’t worship Celtic Gods. I thumb my nose at them). I’m not sure I would disagree with the eclectic label, except that the word has connotations of “doing whatever you want”, being “fluffy”, “poor scholarship” and “Ohhh Shiny!”.  However, this is not always the case. I firmly believe one can be eclectic and still be well read, pay attention to scholarship, and draw inspiration from multiple sources in a well thought out and respectful (read non-haphazard) manner.

I think this attitude is getting more prevalent. From reading others blogs and various forum posts I see many pagans who are forming a personal practice that does not fall under any one grand label. I think this is a good thing and a natural evolution in modern paganism.

So having accepted these two aspects of my ever-evolving spirituality, I now face the challenge of working them into a cohesive system that gives honor and respect to both traditions without falling into the trap of slighting either of them. I have my work cut out for me. I think I’m going to begin by making a personal festival calendar and take it from there.

On Being a Pagan; My own path (Part I)

Once, about 10 years ago now, I was asked to be part of a question/answer style round table at a local library about different pagan paths. It basically consisted on myself, and two Wiccans who sat at the table and fielded questions from the audience. Although I had moved on from Wicca at that point I had much respect for both of the Wiccans, who were elders in their trads. I will never forget what one of them said… I was simultaneously horrified and impressed. She said (and I’m paraphrasing because after 10 years I don’t remember her words verbatim):

‘If you have a choice in the matter, don’t be a pagan. You have to figure it out all for yourself. You have to take care of your own spiritual care. There is no priest who is going to tell you exactly what to do or think, no holy book to go to ready made answers for. You’ll be on your own, and have to figure out what you really believe by yourself. It’s all up to you and you alone. It’s very hard work and if you have a choice, stick with a ready made orthodox religion. You’ll be happier.‘

I never forgot her words. It turns out I don’t have a choice. I am pagan. It is in my blood, and in my soul. I always have been as long as I can remember. I still remember when I was young; my first memory is pretending my Disney books were spell books. When most kids were playing baseball I was hunting for “herbs” to make infusions out of. Of course I didn’t know anything about real herbs, so I gave all the weeds around my neighborhood their own names and correspondences as I saw fit (I would then sell the infusions by the side of the road. I guess there’s a bit of snake oil salesman in me as well. Who needs a lemonade stand?).

I remember loving the woods and swamps outside my home and feeling truly connected to the divine in a way that I could never feel in church. I felt safe there, as if I belonged. I remember one Halloween when I was 10 years old, feeling such a deep sense reverence and knowing that the day was special in a way that goes beyond costumes and candy, but not knowing how to honor it sufficiently (I think I ended up doing a little dance in the woods to honor the tree spirits, heh). I remember reading the worlds mythology voraciously and wishing so hard that I could get as excited about my “own religion” (Christianity) as much as I did about those myths. At that time I thought that God and Jesus was something that I would grow into believing like the other grown ups did. That if I just waited it out, one day I would be grown up, have a job, and a family and love Jesus like everyone else. It’s not that I disliked Christianity. It brings peace to many wonderful people who I love and I think that’s great. It’s just not my religion and never was. To quote from the song “Worship Trees”:

Church bells ring, I’m so glad they do,

But I can’t join in.

Something old has my name,

Nothing will ever be the same.

I never did grow up to believe. One day I decided that even if I was the only one in the world who believed in the Old Gods, so be it. I informed my mother that I was never going to church again (and she was good enough to respect that and not make me). It was then that I opened my heart to Them. Imagine my joy and surprise years later to discover there where others who felt the same way!

The fact is I love paganism. LOVE it. I love the smell of incense and the sight of candles on my shrines, flickering off the statues and my beloved devotional items. It brings me true peace. I love the herbs and scented oils. I love the people and the wide range of ideas and beliefs everyone brings to the table. I love the connection to the Earth and Gods that I feel when I give an offering with nothing other than love and devotion in my heart. I love the deep sense of reverence and being wrapped up in the divine I feel when I am in Their presence. My entire world is magical. I see evidence of the old gods everywhere and the nature spirits are all around me. In a world filled with interest rates and property taxes, I enjoy knowing that the world is not exactly as it presents itself  and I am only a breath away from True Magic.

Not only do I love being pagan, I love other pagans as well! I love Witches, Druids, Reconstructionists, left-hand-pathers, you name it! I think you are all wonderful. You are my people, even if we disagree on various points I feel a bond with you. I raise my drinking glass to you.

However my co-round-tablerer was right. Paganism is hard work. I’m currently trying to find exactly where I fit in the pagan spectrum, and let me tell you all that introspection begins to hurt after awhile. Theres so much conflicting information! If you do practice A, you get labeled as “fluffy” (and no one wants to be fluffy! Ack!). Yet if you except that if you do A, you must do  B, C, and D as well you feel constrained.  The “Your doing it wrong” police are on the prowl, on the look out for ways that they can criticize other peoples practices and bring us all into the fold of The One Right Pagan Way. I shudder at the implications. It’s enough to make any curious seeker take one look at us and run for the hills. Even an old hat like myself feels intimidated and is constantly looking over his shoulder. Which brings me to my current conundrum. Exactly what kind of pagan am I anyway? What do I belive? I’ve been asking myself this my entire life. I believe I will begin to write more on that question in my next post (this ones getting kind of lengthy.) Stay tuned for part II.

I promised I would drown myself in mystic heated wine…

Wow what a ride it’s been. A long confusing enlightening ride.

My relationship with Hekate has been deepening. What started off as a ’side thing’ seems to have taken on a life all of it’s own. I’m quite unsure of where this will lead.When I first encountered her in August I told her that I would follow where she lead me, and she seems to have taken me up on that promise. However this post isn’t actually about Hekate although she was the initiator. She seems to have this notion that I learn more about her family as well, and “introduced” me to Dionysus.

All I can say is WOW.  He hit me like full on charging bull. Experiencing Dionysos for the first time was an awesome and wonderful experience. I felt a profound sense of pure religious awe. As if I wanted to fall and kneel before his presence and just drink and revel in the pure ecstasy he induced in me. I felt all at once warm joy, excitement, fear, religious awe, and love. I felt as if my skin where on fire and mania welled up from deep within by being. All at once I loved and felt connected to the divine as I had never before, and I wanted to Serve.

He taught me some thing about myself through this experience. This is what I have been missing and searching for in religious experience. This is why I could never quite “connect” with Freyr but why I always seemed drawn to Odin. I am drawn to Gods of Ecstasy.  It is though this the ecstatic experience that I connect most fully with the Divine. I need to feel this intense sense of pure love and devotion. I have felt it before with Odin, and Dionysos showed me what I had not known about myself.

I’m unsure where this will take me, and I’ve learned by this time not to make any proclamations or predictions where the Gods are concerned. These things have to unfold naturally and while I can steer the rudder I am in uncharted waters. On one had I feel my connection to Odin strengthened through this experience and the knowledge it induced in me. That night I also received (yet another) Valknut dream.

I am also interested however (for the first time in my life) in learning more about Dionysos and the other Hellenic gods and building on the relationships that Hekate and Dionysos have initiated with me. At this point I’m not limiting myself. Maybe I will end up dual trad. Maybe I will just take a short detour or pick one trad or the other. I honestly don’t know, but I do know I am feeling as if I am right where I am supposed to be right now.

I  purchased three books:

Written in Wine- A devotional Anthology to Dionysos

Unbound- A devotional anthology for Artemis

Gods and Mortals

I love reading deovtional anthologies. I definitely want to learn more about Dionysos and my interest is piqued in Artemis as well (even though she kind of scares me). I really love reading about others personal experience with the Gods, no matter which pantheon. I can’t wait until they arrive.

Autumn Equinox 2009

Today is Mabon, the Autumn Equinox.  I will be unable to celebrate ritually for multiple reasons today. First off the baby is only a month old and I’m finding that at this stage his mother and I are still in “survival mode”. Taking time out to go ritualize just does not seem practical today. I’m hoping this is a temporary thing and as he grows older things will return to normal. I haven’t been able to do so much as a daily devotion in over a month and I’m really feeling it.

Not that I am complaining! He is a blessing. Yesterday he smiled for the first time while I was playing with him, and I think it was his first smile related to fun and not to gas. It made every sleepless night and the interruption of my daily routine worth it! Still, I’d love to hear from any pagan parents on how you balance child rearing and you spiritual life.

However today my mind turns to spiritual thoughts. I have a love-hate relationship with the fall. On one hand I love the feeling of the cool air and it’s primal earthy smell. I can feel the veil between the world thinning daily. Yet I also know the harsh Wisconsin winter is right around the corner. Also I always end up with a case of the fall-blahs. I find it very hard to feel the presence of the Gods at this time for some reason. Combined with the fact that I haven’t been able to tend to my spiritual practice for the last month, I feel very out of sorts. Without fail, every fall I end up very introspective and question my current path and practices. This is not necessarily a bad thing. A path walked without frequent reflection is a dead one in my opinion. However, I find it exhausting! Yet I always know that the fruits of this labor are rewarding in the end. I always come out with a stronger sense of who I am and where I’m going.

This year I feel my relationship deepening with two very disparate Gods, Wuldor and Hecate. My relationship with Wuldor has been growing slowly, yet strongly. He is a quiet god. Doesn’t “say much”. Yet I feel my connection to him grow daily, to the point where I feel he is always with me. It feel good, and is wholly unlike anything I’ve ever experienced with any other God I’ve ever had a working relationship with. This is a good thing, and makes me happy. As the winter approaches I’m guessing that this connection will strengthen even further. I’m seriously considering working on a devotional book to him. There is so little information about this god. Not only would it serve to add a much needed resource for a God whom there is little out there about but it would serve as a vehicle for my own deepening devotion to him. I’m seriously considering this when things get less hectic and more routine with the kiddo!

Strangely enough I’m also feeling Hecate around too. This is weird for me. I’ve never been one to mix pantheons, and quite frankly I’m unsure how to fit a single greek goddess into my primarily anglo-saxon practice. Yet she’s not going away (and I dont wish her too). I get the feeling as I figure this one out, I will learn something important (or go crazy trying).

So today I’m hoping that during my lunch hour I can escape for a few mins, go walk along the lake side, hail the land wights, and try to reconnect with the natrual world for awhile. The fog outside is tick as pea soup today and it would make for a wonderful setting for such an endevor.

The best news ever!

Today I celebrate the best news ever. Last night at 11:04pm my son (and first child) , Sammy was born. It’s hard to belive you can love something so much that you just met! I have a feeling it will be worth every sleepless night to come.

(and speak of those sleepless nights, it may be awhile before I have the energy to post again I’m guessing!).

YAY Sammy! Here is a picture of him:

..and her approach shall be preceeded by the barking of dogs.

Apparently I am to be a syncretist. Believe me, it was a surprise to me, and not necessarily my choice! Allow me to explain.

As mentioned in my past posts, all of my recent divinations have had two things in common, information regarding being guided by a strong female presence, and (at least when I use the runes) the Eihwaz (Yew) rune. These two items have come up in almost every reading. Also during on the OBOD water ritual, when scrying into the water I was presented with an owl looking back at me. I thought perhaps it was Freya or Skathi, but apparently it is.. Hecate; the Greek Goddess of the crossroads.

Last Thursday (August 13th, 2009), I awoke with the following words spoken by an irritated yet amused female voice echoing in my head as I made my way into sleepy morning wakefulness:

“I will never understand your human insistence that you can only worship those of us whom you have ties of blood. If you are human, you have all you need to hear and connect with us. I am Hecate, learn of me“.

I woke up to the barking of my usually quiet dog. Now it’s not often that I hear voices in my sleep as such, but when I do I have learned to sit up and take notice. I pondered this for awhile. While I am not folkish in anyway shape or form, I have not explored much past the Norse pantheon. It had never even occurred to me that the female presence would be Greek! All throughout that day I was presented with her image and name where ever I looked. I felt her presence with me all day. I found that among others, two of her most prominent symbols are the yew tree, and the owl. Her presence is said to be heralded by the barking of dogs.  Also upon doing my research, I found that August 13th is considered to be a sacred feast day to Hecate by most modern pagans, and although I had no clue of this previously it made a nice synchronicity. That night I went out for a night time walk to the crossroads and prayed my greetings. I was rewarded by a frog hopping out at my feet (the frog being another one of her symbols, the limnal creature that it is). It took this that my prayer was well received.

I did wrestle with the fact that she is a Greek Goddess for a time. I like things nice and neat and adding synchretic elements to my practice tends to muddy the waters more than I would like. She apparently finds this amusing and will have none of it. I get the feeling that as a Goddess that has been here long before even the Olympian gods she is very much her own entity and does not mind being honored apart from them.

I still have no interest in any of the other Greek gods (accept for maybe Artemis. Who has very close associations with Hecate anyway in the PGM). I don’t see myself converting to Hellinisimos anytime soon, but I am not hesitant at all in forming a relationship with this most wonderful of Goddess’s, in fact I welcome it. I also find it interesting that her arrival came just days after I decided I would open myself to new spiritual experiences.  This is really a new step into uncharted waters for me. Tonight I will do a dark moon ritual in her honor and see where this leads.

For the record: although I am opening my practice up to other cultures and pantheons I have no intentions of forgetting the friends I have made amongst the Northern gods, that being Frey, Wuldor, Odin, and Skathi. I have explained that I need time to explore a bit and figure things out, and I get the feeling they understand that, but I will always honor them as well.

Sometimes we must go back to where we were in order to find where we need to be.

I don’t know why, but the onset of fall seems to be a time of acute spiritual introspection for me. Last year at this time it hit me hard, really hard. I was involved with a religious group that I felt was becoming too cult-like for my comfort.  The farther in I got, the more I felt I was being controlled rather guided and my spirituality was being dictated to me rather than allowing it to unfold naturally. Thus I broke loose, and re-set my foots on the Druidic path (and returned to paganism in general after many years of absence), a path I had begun years earlier and somehow veered from. Looking back in the past year it was one of the best decisions that I made. I regained my sense of spirituality and individuality, my relationship with my wife has improved exponentially, and although I cast off may “friends” in the process the ones I’ve kept and the new ones that I’ve made are relationships of quality.  At the risk of sounding pun-ish, Druidry has been a Godsend to me.

This year it’s hit me again. I don’t know what it is about this time of year!  However, instead of leaving a religion I’m faced with figuring out where my path in this one leads, and refining it. I do feel that I’m somewhat guilty of taking on too much at once, between Druidry and returning to Heathenism. I feel that I’ve desperately been seeking a connection to the Gods, and am coming up frustrated. I realize now that Frey was right in his insistence that I wait to Oath. It would be an extremely bad idea at this time to oath to anyone right now. I am an enthusiastic individual and hate doing anything half-way. Sometimes however this can work against one. A part of me thinks I should concentrate on only one path for awhile.

I realize that now would be a good time to take some time and return to the beginning.  Try to figure everything out fresh, and concentrate on my growth as a Druid. Right now though I am only sure of two things 1) I wish to continue studying Druidry, and 2) I want to remain pagan and work on my relationships to the Gods in whatever form that takes. Therefore I’m going to back off on my Heathen studies for awhile and try to concentate on only one path, Druidry and not define myself beyond that.

At the same time, with this new beginning I’m finding myself open to fresh starts and new things and pantheons.  I’ve been hearing the call of Cernunnos (or Herne, or Gwynn Ap Nudd. All I know is it’s some  horned deity, and I have not been given a name.) for some time and ignoring it. Now might be a good time to open up and see where that relationship might lead.

Also apparently I’m a syncretist! I had no idea honestly… I’ll write more about this on my next post.

Right now I’m not making any decisions past the decision to take time out and figure out whats best for me, and for me this means concentrating on my Druidic studies.My goal for the next few months is to finish both the OBOD Bardic path, and the AODA initiate path. This of course will be slowed by the fact that we are expecting a new member of the family litterally any day now!

I remind myself that there is no rush. There is no race. Who knows where my path will lead. For a time I remain a Seeker for a little while longer and simply hope that I find and maintain pleasant company along the way.

Mound Sitting at Aztalan

(At this point I will say that I sometimes feel strange about writing about my mystical experiences in public. There is always going to be a certain amount of criticism or disbelief, and to throw the sacred out there for public view can sometimes cheapen the experience. I do however write about it for one reason; that reason being that I’ve been so helped and have benefited so much from the writings of others that have shared their experiences that I feel it would be very ungrateful of me to not share as well.)

I have the distinct treat of only being about a half hours drive away from Aztalan State Park.

For those unfamiliar with the place, it is spectacular. Words simply cannot do it justice, but I will try to describe it. It is the epitome of a “sacred spot”. It was established around 1100 A.D. by the native Mississippians. It consists of a series of mounds throughout the park, two of which are in a large step-pyramid form, named the mounds of the Sun and Moon respectively.

Legend has it that this is the place where Atzecs originated from, although modern archeology cannot confirm that. Not far away in the near by Rock Lake, more pyramids lie beneath the lake known as the Tyrenea Pyramids.  A local microbrew makes beer out of this sacred water by the same name (Tyrenea), which I find tends to be a well accepted offering for faining (The area also incidentally supports a legend of a local lake monster, and a race of dog-people as well). The entire place is steeped in mystery and lore. I was first brought there by a mystically inclined friend, who I continue to visit with today. I first read about it in a book called Weird Wisconsin. Anyone who knows you lives near it will get really quiet… then ask you about it in private.

The entire land “buzzes” with energy. You can literally feel it miles away as you draw near. Some people actually get physically sick. I almost threw up my first time, and I still have to fight waves of nausea as I enter for the first few moments. You would have to be psychically dead to not feel the sacredness of this place. Standing upon the Sun Mound in particular is an experience never to be forgotten. As I begin to rise I always feel my hair standing on edge from my skin, like standing within an electrical field. When sitting on top you can feel a deep internal humming and oscillation that seems to originate from far below the earth and run up through you, bursting and dancing all around you. It is like standing at the apex of an “energy volcano”.  I find going here recharges my Woo like nothing else. Doing the OBOD light body exercise (LBE) atop it is phenomenal to say the least.

Sometimes the place literally summons me. It’s hard to describe but there are  times I feel it demanding my presence. I never come away disappointed either, as there is always a necessary experience waiting me there during these times. If you have never been there I suggest you make it a goal to one day visit. I’ve known people to travel to from other states and even  other countries just to see it, and all are happy with what they find at the end of their destination.

This weekend was one of those times that I felt summoned. I simply knew all week that I had to be there this weekend one way or another. In many Norse and Celtic traditions there is the practice of mound sitting; that is sitting atop a mound at sunset and staying there until you receive a message from the Gods. That is what I did.

Given that this is land with a long history of Native American use I first offered to to the local land spirits an offering of grain, tobacco, and some herbs I cut from  my own garden as a gift for being allowed to use the land. I waited until I felt that I had permission to go about my business, and ascended the Mound of the Sun at sunset… and waited.

It turns out I did not need to wait long. I find that I can always hear the voices of the Gods loud and clear there. It’s like hooking up ones god-phone up to a nuclear powered amplifier. Although I usually do have trouble hearing Frey, as I mentioned before, I found his presence and voice readily available to council me at this place and time.

And converse we did. I will not give specifics because after all, some things are too sacred for print, but I will give a synopsis of what I learned. Basically I was told that my offering to Oath to him was indeed well received and he would indeed accept such oath with pleasure, with a “catch”. I was given to know that His path is a path of service, and I would have to be prepared to offer myself to that service as well if I where to be His. It was indicated that I should be prepared to accept this and think of what form this service might take before offering myself. I tend to be a bit of a fringe dweller and would have to be prepared to come in from that fringe.

In addition Freya, Skadhi, and Wuldor have stepped up recently and I should continue to explore my relationship to them as I could serve them as well in accordance with my fringe dwelling nature, but in the end the choice is indeed mine.

Wise council was indeed given and I am thinking on these words at this time.  I feel that connection to these deities strengthens daily. I “feel” them with my stronger than ever. I am assuming that this has something to do with Lammas approaching. My Lammas celebrations this year will be very  important as I have much thinking to do as I ponder these words.